your girl, she's a renegade

I really hate boys.

Most boys.

They are so hot and cold and weird and nice then mean.

I was at this Christmas party on the weekend visiting some of my old friends and an ex-sex buddy was there. I've had trouble with him before, around March time he really wailed on me for not dating him and then ripped me apart because I was dating someone else. It was brutally awful, I cried to myself for days and was insecure about the stuff he said much longer than that. I'd run into him occasionally, I used to work around where he used to live, and he'd come in once and while with his new girlfriend when she was looking for a bathingsuit. Everytime he's just say some snide comment that made me want to cry.

Then on Friday he avoided me most of the night. This is what we do because when we were sleeping together, I made it clear to him that no one could know and tht no one could ever find out., so we avoid each other. Then, while I was on my way to see a puking friend, he intercepted me and told me some super duper mean things that I have been so worried about my entire life. Basically, I spent the rest of the night crying.

After that, I had to meet up with Caleb for dinner, and on the way I got kinda of harrassed by a hobo, which is no big deal, it happens often, it's just that it gets so frustrating. When I got to meeting Caleb, I couldn't stop crying, and we had a nice dinner, but I was so upset by Alex my night was kind of tainted. Then, when we go to the movie theatre, I slept through the entire Nightmare Before Christmas, which sucks, and then had to leave halfway through Gremlins.

I dunno. I've just been like hella crazy lately and expecting far too much from people all the time.