Christmas was a nice time for me, I didn't do much, didn't get a ridiculous amount of gifts (like usual) (WHICH IS FINE, I ONLY ASKED FOR ABOUT THREE THINGS!!!), did have a nice time with the fam though.

I came to some really strange realizations though, like some people I've known for a while whom I always thought were mentally stable, are definitley not, at least not anymore.

And how I am definitley recovering from my breakup healthily and faster than most people do, but how I am still hurt and will have a lot of trust issues with everyone due to it.

How I love reading and love books but don't have the patience or time to sit down and finish an entire actually quality book (why I can only handle trashy ones). That The OC Season 1 is possibly the best show ever (other than Veronica Mars and Buffy of course) and I love it and it continually suprises me and makes me laugh (even though I have seen every episode like 12 times).

How Buffy starts to get really depressing around Season 5 and how I absolutley love Spike and want to have all of his babies except that he is a vamp and in love with Buffy so it doesn't work like that.

How I really just want to turn 19 and start being able to go to clubs and meet new people. How I have this one friend who is continually supportive of me and no matter how crazy (and belive me, I get hella crazy sometimes) and how upset and mean I get she is always okay with me being like that and always forgives me for being a mental patient.

How I've been kind of neglectful and a bad friend of a lot of people without meaning to.

How I hate when I buy people gifts and they're a)uncaring, and b) don't even have the taste to buy/make one back. I don't need something store bought. Something homemade is fine.

How people are so down on each other all the time, and how half the time I am like that and half the time I try to fight to stop people being like that.

How I am insanely jealous of eveyone I know, which I sometimes hide well and soemtimes don't.

How I am just this sad little crazy jealous bitchy McBitch girl and how my life will never sort out.


Off topic, I legitimatley love Christmas. It makes me so happy. The only sad part about my Christmas is that on xmas eve continuing to xmas day, I got so down and out that I didn't appreciate it as much as I usually do. I am being so dismal this year it's depressing. I really hate being a downer.